From Wikipedia: Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a mental disorder that can develop after a person is exposed to a traumatic event, such as sexual assault, warfare, traffic collisions, child abuse, or other threats on a person’s life. Symptoms may include disturbing thoughts, feelings, or dreams related to the events, mental or physical distress to trauma-related cues, attempts to avoid trauma-related cues, alterations in how a person thinks and feels, and an increase in the fight-or-flight response. These symptoms last for more than a month after the event. Young children are less likely to show distress, but instead may express their memories through play. A person with PTSD is at a higher risk for suicide and intentional self-harm.
Jason T. Lamoreaux is the man behind the experimental ambient/drone project The Corrupting Sea, and he has been battling with PTSD and today’s exclusive premiere of ‘The Healing House of Light‘ is above all a vital message for everybody. Open up, speak up, see a specialist, talk to each other….. You never know whether your smallest action, could save a person’s life.
Enough from us, let’s leave this space to Jason, his words & music…
This short intro to the album represents the first time I walked up the walkway to the door of my doctor’s house. Yes, he practices in a beautiful, old home that I honestly love. There is minor tension, leaves and branches under my feet, and a bit of “what should I expect”. Since this moment, he has treated me for over a year and I’m here because I took these steps.
As my hand reached for the doorknob to this beautiful home, I hoped my entry would be the one that started a healing journey. I had seen psychiatrists before and they have been mostly uncaring, no bedside manner, as one says, and they rarely listen. There is both an urgency and hopefulness here. Will this doctor be different? Will they listen? Will they help? While the track is long, it’s not a representation of how long it took me to enter the door. The track is a representation of what was going through my brain and my feelings of dread, panic, and depression as they battled inside of me. There is here a second of movement but a pile of emotions as it happened.
The door opens and I peer into the most inviting house I’ve ever seen. Decorated with care and warmth, my treatment started even before I saw the doctor. The house itself was clearly meant to bring one comfort, to lower stress, and to make one feel at home. This beautiful old restored colonial home had instantly become a safe place. In spite of my trepidations about sharing my inner most fears and issues with what was then a stranger, the home was inviting and, like Dr. Light, a reflection of the care that I was about to receive.
When I play piano with nothing else, it represents my vulnerability in my music. I came to Dr. Light in very bad shape, and I knew this was going to be a long term healing issue. A decade of trauma just doesn’t go away and life long depression and sensory issues can’t just get a band-aide put over them. I needed a doctor who cared once I was vulnerable, once I exposed my inner self, which I would keep from colleagues at work and my students. The piano disappears and a drone comes in, calm and reflective. He clearly cared from the start, listened to what I said, and never discounted my answers to his questions. It was a wonderful beginning to what I expect will be a multi-year climb to having a healthy way to deal with my own demons.
Within more than a decade, I’ve never been so sick, tired, suicidal, wanting to come out of skin, and a number of other issues. This album bares my soul a little or perhaps a lot. “Hope” represents my feelings walking out the front door of the house after my first visit with Dr. Light. His care, attention, and care was very, very clear from the second I met him. I’m still deep in my dark place. Every day I struggle and I know Dr. Light has my back. It brings me some hope, even when the panic attacks, fear, anxiety, and darkness fill my hours.
Thank you Dr. Light for caring and saving my life. Without you, I doubt I would still be here. If you are suicidal and have planned out your suicide, please, go to a hospital or call the suicide prevention hotline at 1-800-273-8255 in the United States. I am still fighting and working on an album about my fight, but, please, get help if you are at the end of your rope.
February 6th will see the 10th release from The Corrupting Sea and the first for 2020. Released at the end of a January tour, this 10th album holds a special place in The Corrupting Sea catalog. A record release show will be held at Surface Noise in Louisville, Kentucky with Fritz Pape of Cincinnati also playing a live set.
As an artist who struggles with PTSD, depression, social anxiety disorder, and several other mental issues, I (The Corrupting Sea) decided to dedicate an entire album to the man that saved my life. With over a decade of suicidal tendencies and an almost impossible effort to get through each day, I finally found a doctor that has cared enough for me, listened to me, and helped me get through my days in more healthy ways. As I step toward health, one day at a time, I thank Dr. Light for his incredible talent as a doctor and caregiver. I’ve never met anyone like him. The Healing House of Light is the story of my first meeting with Dr. Light as each song sonically conveys my feelings as I went through the process of being one of his new patients.
I’m also dedicating a few albums coming up to my psychological issues because we must talk about these things in the open. This is my first effort in that quest. People with psychological problems are not alone, they aren’t weird or scary, they are just hurt and need help and I hope my music can, in small part, be a part of that process.